Page 120 - Štremfel, Urška, and Maša Vidmar (eds.). 2018. Early School Leaving: Training Perspectives. Ljubljana: Pedagoški inštitut.
P. 120
ear ly school leav ing: t r a ining per specti ves
It is important that the adult identifies and names the right emotion.
For example, we feel anger when someone unjustifiably interferes with our
plans (e.g. sister A takes sister B’s favourite dress without asking and sister
B planned to wear it, but now she can’t). We are sad when we forever lose
someone (or something) very dear and close to us (e.g. a relative or a pet
dies; a dear and close friend moves far away) (Milivojević, 2008). Adults
tend to confuse the feeling of anger and sadness in children. Children tend
to cry when they are angry because crying is their first tool for expressing
an unpleasant emotion and they are still learning the right way to express
it. On the other hand, adults usually cry only when they are sad. That is why
adults link crying with sadness and tend to ask crying children why they
are sad. In this way, they communicate the wrong message to children. That
is why it is important to investigate the child’s perception and apperception
before making assumptions about their emotions. Moreover, it is impor-
tant to be able to define different emotions.
4. Helping the child to evaluate and valorise the situation
In this step, the adult summarises the child’s valorisation of the stimulus
situation. The adult describes the importance and significance of the situ-
ation for the child.
Example:
T: I see you really value fairness in a relationship. I understand that
this is why you decided to be angry at me.
Hearing the valorisation of the stimulus situation in this way helps
children understand that it is their decision which starts the emotional re-
action. It gives them control over their emotions and thus shows them they
can regulate them successfully.
5. Helping the child to think about the strategy for his/her action
The l ast s tep i ncludes helping t he c hild t hink a bout t he a ctions t hey c an
take to stop the emotional reaction they are feeling. The a dult’s r ole i n
this step is to encourage the child to elaborate different strategies that can
lead to calming the emotional reaction down and establishing the previ-
ous equilibrium and the natural, calm inner feeling. According to the CER
model, when experiencing an unpleasant emotion we have three possible
strategies for stopping the emotion:
120
It is important that the adult identifies and names the right emotion.
For example, we feel anger when someone unjustifiably interferes with our
plans (e.g. sister A takes sister B’s favourite dress without asking and sister
B planned to wear it, but now she can’t). We are sad when we forever lose
someone (or something) very dear and close to us (e.g. a relative or a pet
dies; a dear and close friend moves far away) (Milivojević, 2008). Adults
tend to confuse the feeling of anger and sadness in children. Children tend
to cry when they are angry because crying is their first tool for expressing
an unpleasant emotion and they are still learning the right way to express
it. On the other hand, adults usually cry only when they are sad. That is why
adults link crying with sadness and tend to ask crying children why they
are sad. In this way, they communicate the wrong message to children. That
is why it is important to investigate the child’s perception and apperception
before making assumptions about their emotions. Moreover, it is impor-
tant to be able to define different emotions.
4. Helping the child to evaluate and valorise the situation
In this step, the adult summarises the child’s valorisation of the stimulus
situation. The adult describes the importance and significance of the situ-
ation for the child.
Example:
T: I see you really value fairness in a relationship. I understand that
this is why you decided to be angry at me.
Hearing the valorisation of the stimulus situation in this way helps
children understand that it is their decision which starts the emotional re-
action. It gives them control over their emotions and thus shows them they
can regulate them successfully.
5. Helping the child to think about the strategy for his/her action
The l ast s tep i ncludes helping t he c hild t hink a bout t he a ctions t hey c an
take to stop the emotional reaction they are feeling. The a dult’s r ole i n
this step is to encourage the child to elaborate different strategies that can
lead to calming the emotional reaction down and establishing the previ-
ous equilibrium and the natural, calm inner feeling. According to the CER
model, when experiencing an unpleasant emotion we have three possible
strategies for stopping the emotion:
120
