Page 119 - Štremfel, Urška, and Maša Vidmar (eds.). 2018. Early School Leaving: Training Perspectives. Ljubljana: Pedagoški inštitut.
P. 119
developing students’ emotional intelligence (ei) to help prevent esl
If the child is still too overwhelmed by the emotion and unable to par-
ticipate in the conversation, the adult needs to give them the right space to
be able to calm down. Sometimes, the only thing that helps a child over-
whelmed by emotion to calm down is to be alone in a quiet and safe space.
2. Asking what happened
In this step, the adult investigates the situation (stimulus situation) in
which the emotion has arisen. It is important that the adult does not as-
sume which emotion the child is experiencing before they hear what hap-
pened. The emotion arises according to the child’s perception and apper-
ception of the situation which is unique for each individual and includes
their previous experiences and beliefs about the situation. Hearing the
child’s understanding of the stimulus situation enables the adult to detect
the emotion the child is experiencing and the reasons for this emotion to
have arisen (the child’s valorisation process).
Question adults ask in this step: What happened? What is bothering
you? Why does this bother you?
Example:
When the boy stops crying, the teacher can start the conversation.
Teacher (T): What is bothering you? (Even though the teacher suspects
the boy is crying because of the grade, they need to ensure this is really the
reason and find out why this grade is so important.)
Child (C): this grade.
T: Why is this grade bothering you?
C: I don’t think the grade is fair.
T: I see. Why do you think the grade is not fair?
C: Because you did not tell us that the circle circumference will also be
in the test and I did not study it.
3. Summarising and naming the emotion the child is experiencing
When the adult has enough information and has detected the emotion the
child is experiencing, they name it and thus label all the physical sensations
and mental processes they are experiencing.
Example:
T: I see you are angry at me, because you think I was unfair.
C: yes.
119
If the child is still too overwhelmed by the emotion and unable to par-
ticipate in the conversation, the adult needs to give them the right space to
be able to calm down. Sometimes, the only thing that helps a child over-
whelmed by emotion to calm down is to be alone in a quiet and safe space.
2. Asking what happened
In this step, the adult investigates the situation (stimulus situation) in
which the emotion has arisen. It is important that the adult does not as-
sume which emotion the child is experiencing before they hear what hap-
pened. The emotion arises according to the child’s perception and apper-
ception of the situation which is unique for each individual and includes
their previous experiences and beliefs about the situation. Hearing the
child’s understanding of the stimulus situation enables the adult to detect
the emotion the child is experiencing and the reasons for this emotion to
have arisen (the child’s valorisation process).
Question adults ask in this step: What happened? What is bothering
you? Why does this bother you?
Example:
When the boy stops crying, the teacher can start the conversation.
Teacher (T): What is bothering you? (Even though the teacher suspects
the boy is crying because of the grade, they need to ensure this is really the
reason and find out why this grade is so important.)
Child (C): this grade.
T: Why is this grade bothering you?
C: I don’t think the grade is fair.
T: I see. Why do you think the grade is not fair?
C: Because you did not tell us that the circle circumference will also be
in the test and I did not study it.
3. Summarising and naming the emotion the child is experiencing
When the adult has enough information and has detected the emotion the
child is experiencing, they name it and thus label all the physical sensations
and mental processes they are experiencing.
Example:
T: I see you are angry at me, because you think I was unfair.
C: yes.
119
